


Hamilton/Six Musical Rewrite

by Kasuna_Kotonoha



Series: Six/ Hamilton Rewrite [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Aaron Burr is So Done, Alex is Henry, Alternate Universe - All Female, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Angelica Schuyler, Aragon is Angelica, Bascially I'm rewriting Six with Hamilton characters, Boleyn is Laurens, Cleves is Lafayette, F/M, Howard is Reynolds, M/M, Maria Reynolds is Maria Lewis, Mom Friend Eliza Schuyler, Parr is Burr, Seymour is Eliza, Song Lyrics, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:14:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25027531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasuna_Kotonoha/pseuds/Kasuna_Kotonoha
Summary: In which I take the musical SiX and rewrite it with Hamilton characters.
Relationships: Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr/Theodosia Prevost Burr, Alexander Hamilton/Angelica Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/Maria Reynolds
Series: Six/ Hamilton Rewrite [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1894906
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	1. Ex-Wives

**Author's Note:**

> SO, BIG DISCLAMER/NOTICE
> 
> I don't own either of these franchises.
> 
> This isn't going to be a perfect rewrite, it just won't work like that
> 
> If you want to do a react fic or anything with my script rewrite, just be sure to give credit. Also let me know so I can check it out!

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Divorced**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Beheaded**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Died**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Divorced**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Beheaded**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Survived**

**[Angelica of Aragon, spoken]**

**And tonight, we are...**

**[All]**

**Live!**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Listen up, let me tell you a story**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**A story that you think**

**You've heard before**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**We know you know our names**

**And our fame and our faces**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Know all about the glories**

**And the disgraces**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**I'm done 'cause all this time**

**I've been just one word**

**In a stupid rhyme**

**[Erin Burr]**

**So I picked up a pen and a microphone**

**[All]**

**History's about to get overthrown**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Divorced**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Beheaded**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Died**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Divorced**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Beheaded**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Survived**

**[All]**

**But just for you tonight**

**We're divorced, beheaded**

**Live!**

**Welcome to the show**

**To the historemix**

**Switching up the flow**

**As we add the prefix**

**Everybody knows that**

**We used to be six wives**

**Raising up the roof**

**Till we hit the ceiling**

**Get ready for the truth**

**That we'll be revealing**

**Everybody knows**

**That we used to be six wives**

**But now we're**

**Ex-wives**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**All you ever hear and read about**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Is our ex and the way it ended**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**You're gonna find out**

**How we got unfriended**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Tonight we gonna do ourselves justice**

**'Cause we're taking you to court**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Every Hamil Rose has its thorns**

**And you're gonna hear 'em live: in consort**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Divorced**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Beheaded**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Died**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Divorced**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Beheaded**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Survived**

**[All]**

**But just for you tonight**

**We're divorced, beheaded**

**Live!**

**Welcome to the show**

**To the historemix**

**Switching up the flow**

**As we add the prefix**

**Everybody knows that**

**We used to be six wives**

**Dancing to the beat**

**Till the break of day, once**

**We're done, we'll start again**

**Like it's the Renaissance**

**Everybody knows**

**That we used to be six wives**

**But now we're**

**Ex-wives**

**Divorced**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**My name is Angelica of Aragon**

**Was married 24 years, I'm a paragon**

**Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican**

**So if you try to dump me**

**You won't try that again**

**[All]**

**Beheaded**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**I'm that Laurens girl**

**And I'm up next, see**

**I broke England from the Church**

**Yeah, I'm that sexy**

**Why did I lose my head?**

**Well my sleeves may be green**

**But my lipstick's red!**

**[All]**

**Died**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Eliza Schuyler, the only one he truly loved**

**[All]**

**Rude**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**When my son was newly born**

**I died, but I'm not what I seem**

**Or am I?**

**Stick around and you'll**

**Suddenly see more**

**[All]**

**Divorced**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Ich bin Marqu’ de Lafayette**

**[All]**

**Ja**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**When he saw my portrait he was like—**

**[All]**

**Jaa**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**But I didn't look as good**

**As I did in my pic**

**Funny how we all discuss that**

**But never Hammy’s little—**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Prick up your ears, I'm the Lewis**

**Who lost her head**

**[All]**

**Beheaded**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**For my promiscuity outside of wed-**

**Lock up your husbands**

**Lock up your sons**

**M Lewis is here**

**And the fun's begun**

**[All]**

**Survived**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Five down, I'm the final wife**

**I saw him to the end of his life**

**I'm the survivor, Erin Burr**

**I bet you wanna know how I got this far**

**I said, I bet you wanna know**

**How we got this far**

**Hey!**

**[All]**

**Do you wanna know how we got this far?**

**Then welcome to the show**

**To the historemix**

**Switching up the flow**

**As we add the prefix**

**Everybody knows that**

**We used to be six wives**

**Get your hands up**

**Get this party buzzing**

**You want a queen Bee?**

**Well there's half a dozen**

**Everybody knows that**

**We used to be six wives**

**But now we're**

**Ex-wives!**

**One, two, three, four, five**

**Six!**


	2. Introduction

**[Marquise de Lafayette}**

**How are you doing tonight?**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**We said, how are you doing tonight?!**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**We are…**

**[All, sung]**

**Six.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**And welcome to our divorced, beheaded live tour!**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**We’ve got a whole lot in store for you tonight.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**We’ve got riffs to ruffle your ruffs!** **_(Does a riff)_ **

**[Erin Burr]**

**Shimmys to shake up your Chemise.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**And a whole lot of history.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Or as we like to call it… her-story.**

**_(The queens laugh)_ **

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**So obviously, you know who we are.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Please, no portraits.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**But give it up for our ladies in waiting!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**We got Francis on the guitar!**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Adrienne on the bass.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**And killing it on the keys, we’ve got Martha!**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**And with drums so sick they’ll give you gout, It’s Maria in the drums!**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**So you came here tonight to party with us old-school.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Really, really old-school… But we’re not here to have fun!**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Uh-uh, we’ve got a serious score to settle.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**We’ve been in the shadow of one man for too long.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**And we came here tonight to step back into the spotlight!**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**The problem is there’s—**

**[All, sung]**

**Six**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**of us, and we know you’ve all got your favourite.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Everyone always wants to know who’s the most important wife.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**And they’ve been arguing about it for centuries.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**We’ve heard it all…**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**“Who lasted the longest was the strongest.”**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**“The biggest sinner is obvs the winner.”**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**“Who had the son takes number one.”**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**“Who was most chased shall be first placed.”**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**“Most inglourious is victorious.”**

**[Erin Burr]**

**“The winning contestant was the most protest-ant.”**

**...Protestant!**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**But we came here tonight to answer your questions once and for all!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**And tell ya whatcha want, whatcha really really want—**

**...to know.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**That’s right, we’re gonna help you figure out which one of us is—**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**The queen of the castle.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**The rose amongst the thorns.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**The George Washington amongst the royal ministers between 1532 and 1540.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**But how the purgatory are they going to choose their leading lady?**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Hold up! If this is going to be a fair competition, they’re gonna have to judge us on the one thing we’ve all got in common.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**The one to take the crown should be the one who had the biggest,**

**[Erin Burr]**

**The firmest,**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**The fullest**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Load of B.S. to deal with from the man who put a ring on it.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**So, we’re going to hold a little contest for you.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**And the rules are simple:**

**[Erin Burr]**

**The queen who was dealt the worst hand,**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**The queen with the most hardships to withstand,**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**The queen who everything didn’t really go as planned,**

**[All]**

**Shall be the one to lead the band!**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**So, what do you think, are you ready to choose your leading lady?**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**We said, are you ready?!**

**[All]**

**Welcome to the show**

**To the coronation**

**Who will take the crown**

**Be the pop sensation?**

**Everybody knows that we used to be six wives (Six wives)**

**Six wives (Six wives)**

**Six wives**


	3. No Way

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**But there’s only one you need to hear from tonight. I’m about to win this competition. Maria, give me a beat.**

**So, since the day I arrived in England, let’s just say my faith had been tested on more than one occasion. First things first, I was shipped off from Spain on the night of my sweet sixteen to marry some prince called James and I’m like “okay”. But then James died, so naturally I’m imprisoned for seven years. Really helped with the grieving process, you know, but I’m still like, “okay.” But thank God they rescued me just in time to marry Prince Alexander… my dead husband’s brother. Okay, so I’m thinking “bit weird”, but if you’d seen him back in the summer of ‘09. Let me tell you he was okay.**

**So seven years later, we’re still trying for an heir. He’s trying really hard and I’m like “okay”, and he starts coming home late. “I was just out with my ministers!” But there’s lipstick on his ruff. And I’m like “okay”. Suddenly, he wants to annul our marriage, move some side chick into my palace and move me into a convent! Now, now, now, now, I just don’t think I’d look that good in a wimple, so I’m like “No way.”**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**You must agree that baby**

**In all the time I've been by your side**

**I've never lost control**

**No matter how many times I knew you lied**

**Have my golden rule**

**Got to keep my cool**

**Yeah, baby**

**[Ensemble]**

**You know she's got to keep her cool**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**And even though you've had your fun**

**Running around with some pretty young thing**

**And even though you've had one son**

**With someone who don't own a wedding ring**

**No matter what I heard**

**I didn't say a word**

**No, baby**

**[Ensemble]**

**You know she never said a word**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**I put up with your sh—**

**Like every single day**

**But now it's time to shh**

**And listen when I say**

**Woo!**

**You must think that I'm crazy**

**You wanna replace me?**

**Baby, there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way**

**If you think for a moment**

**I'd grant you annulment, just hold up**

**There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way**

**No way**

**No way**

**There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way**

**No way**

**No way**

**There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way**

**There's no way**

**So you read a Bible verse that I'm cursed**

**'Cause I was your brothers wife**

**You say it's a pity cause quoting Leviticus**

**I'll end up kiddy-less all my life**

**Well daddy weren't you there**

**When I gave birth to Angie?**

**(spoken)**

**Aww! Hi, baby!**

**[Ensemble]**

**Daughters are so easy to forget**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**You're just so full of sh—**

**Must think that I'm naïve**

**I won't back down, won't shh**

**And know I'll never leave**

**You must think that I'm crazy**

**You wanna replace me?**

**Baby, there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way**

**If you thought it'd be funny to**

**Send me to a nunnery**

**Honey, there's no way**

**No way**

**No way**

**There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way**

**No way**

**No way**

**There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way**

**There's no way**

**Hey!**

**(Woo!)**

**(Let's go!)**

**(Woo!)**

**(Here we go!)**

**You've got me down on my knees**

**Please tell me what you think I've done wrong**

**Been humble, been loyal, I've tried**

**To swallow my pride all along**

**If you can just explain**

**A single thing I've done to cause you pain, I'll go**

**(spoken)**

**No?**

**[sung]**

**You've got nothing to say**

**I'm not going away**

**There's no way**

**You must think that I'm crazy**

**You wanna replace me?**

**Baby, there's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way**

**You made me your wife**

**So I'll be queen till the end of my life**

**N-n-n-n-n-n-no way**

**No way**

**No way**

**N-n-n-n-nope n-nope n-nope no! (No way)**

**No! (No way)**

**There's n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no way**

**There's no way!**

  
  



	4. Don't Lose Your Head

**[Angelica of Aargon]**

**So clearly, I had the most to deal with from the king. And I hit that top C so you know, dónde está my crown?**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Hang on a sec. Who was that other one?**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**I think you’re thinking of me!**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**No, there was definitely a really important one.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Yeah, still me!**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Yeah. I think she, like, overlapped with you.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Yeah, the really important, controversial one that people actually care about.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Yeah. You know…**

**The one you've been waiting for**

**[Aragon, Marquise de Lafayette, Lewis and Burr]**

**The one you've been waiting for**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**The mystery**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**The one who changed history**

**[Aragon, Schuyler, Lewis and Burr]**

**History**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**The one who changed history, mystery**

**[Aragon, Schuyler, Lewis and Burr]**

**The temptress**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**The one with the plan**

**The plan to steal the man**

**[Aragon, Schuyler, Marquise de Lafayette, Lewis and Burr]**

**Jan!**

**[Erin Burr]**

**The one who chased the king**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**But paid the price with the swordsman's swing**

**[Aragon, Schuyler, Marquise de Lafayette, Lewis and Burr]**

**Will she be the one to win?**

**Jan Laurens**

**Jan Laurens**

**Jan Laurens**

**Jan Laurens**

**Jan Laurens**

**Jan Laurens**

**Jan Laurens**

**[Jan Laurens, spoken]**

**What? Oh, sorry!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Grew up in the French court**

**Oui oui bonjour**

**Life was a chore**

**So**

**[Ensemble]**

**She set sail**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**1522 came straight to the UK**

**All the British dudes lame**

**[Ensemble]**

**Epic fail!**

**Ooh**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**I wanna dance and sing**

**[Ensemble]**

**Politics**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Not my thing**

**[Ensemble]**

**Ooh**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**But then I met the king**

**And soon my daddy said**

**"You should try and get ahead!"**

**He wanted me, obviously**

**Kept messaging me like every day**

**Couldn't be better then he sent me a letter**

**And who am I kidding**

**I was prêt à manger**

**[Ensemble]**

**Ooh**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Sent a reply**

**[Ensemble]**

**Ooh**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Just saying ’Hi'**

**[Ensemble]**

**Ooh**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**'You’re a nice guy**

**I'll think about it maybe**

**XO baby'**

**[Ensemble]**

**Uh oh**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Here we go**

**[Ensemble]**

**You sent him kisses**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**I didn't know I would move in with his missus**

**[Ensemble]**

**What?!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Get a life!**

**[Ensemble]**

**You're living with his wife?**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Like, what was I meant to do?**

**Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said**

**I'm just trying to have some fun**

**Don't worry, don’t worry**

**Don’t lose your head**

**I didn't mean to hurt anyone**

**LOL**

**Say ’Oh, well!'**

**Or go to hell!**

**I'm sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said**

**Don’t lose your head**

**Three in the bed**

**And the little one said**

**"If you wanna be wed**

**Make up your mind!"**

**Her or me, chum**

**Don't wanna be some**

**Girl in a threesome**

**Are you blind?**

**[Ensemble]**

**Ooh**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Don't be bitter**

**[Ensemble]**

**Ooh**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**'Cause I'm fitter**

**[Ensemble]**

**Ooh**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Why hasn't it hit her?**

**He doesn't wanna bang you**

**Somebody hang you**

**[Ensemble]**

**Uh oh**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Here we go**

**[Ensemble]**

**Your comment went viral**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**I didn't really mean it**

**But rumours spiral**

**[Ensemble]**

**Wow Jan, way to make the country hate you!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Mate, what was I meant to do?**

**Sorry, not sorry about what I said**

**I'm just trying to have some fun**

**Don't worry, don't worry**

**Don't lose your head**

**I didn't mean to hurt anyone**

**LOL**

**Say 'Oh, well!'**

**Or go to hell!**

**I'm sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said**

**Don't lose your head**

**Tried to elope**

**But the Pope said 'Nope!'**

**Our only hope was Hamilton**

**He got a promotion**

**Caused a commotion**

**Set in motion the C of E**

**[Ensemble]**

**The rules**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Were so outdated**

**Us two wanted to get X-rated**

**[Ensemble]**

**Soon**

**Excommunicated**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Everybody chill**

**It's totes God's will**

**[Wedding Chimes]**

**[Jan Laurens, spoken]**

**Hold up, let me tell you how it went down.**

**Alex’s out every night on the town**

**Just sleeping around like "What the hell?"**

**If that's how it's gonna be**

**Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three**

**Just to make him jel**

**Alex finds out and he goes mental**

**He screams and shouts like**

**So judgemental!**

**You damned witch**

**Mate, just shut up!**

**I wouldn't be such a b...**

**If you could get it up**

**[Ensemble]**

**Uh oh**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Here we go**

**[Ensemble]**

**Is that what you said?**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**And now he's going 'round like**

**"Off with her head!"**

**[Ensemble]**

**No!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Yeah, I'm pretty sure he means it**

**[Ensemble]**

**Seems it**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**What was I meant to do?**

**[Ensemble]**

**What was she meant to do?**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Like, what was I meant to do?**

**[Ensemble]**

**What was she meant to do?**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Oh my god, guys, seriously, he actually wants to chop my head off! I mean, I guess he must’ve really liked my head… 5, 6, 7, 8!**

**[All]**

**Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**I’m just trying to have some fun.**

**[All]**

**Don’t worry, don’t worry,**

**Don’t lose your head!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.**

**[All]**

**LOL,**

**Say ‘oh well’,**

**Or go to—**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**—Hell!**

**Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said.**

**[All]**

**Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what she said.**

**Sorry, not sorry, ‘bout what I said!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Don’t lose your head!**

  
  
  
  



	5. Heart of Stone

**[Jan Laurens]**

**So yeah. What a weekend.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Wait, did you actually die?**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Yeah, it was so extra. Anyway, I’m obvs the winner, so I think I’ll do another solo. My next song is one I wrote about the moment I found out Angelica of Aragon had tragically died. It’s called “Wearing Yellow to a Funeral”. Please sing along if you know the words.**

**[Jan Laurens, sung]**

**Angelica was a massive-**

**_(Queens all in uproar)_ **

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Who decided you were the winner?**

**[Erin Burr]**

**She wants another turn?**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Over my dead body!**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Anyways, I'm pretty sure it’s my turn next.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**You! Queen, please!**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Are you joking?!**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Yeah, weren’t you the one he truly loved?**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Oh yeah, didn’t you give him the son he so desperately wanted?**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Yeah, like, I had a daughter and he literally chopped my head off.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Yeah, I know. I was lucky in so many ways. Well, I had a beautiful baby boy and Alexander got his heir to the throne, so of course I was going to be the one he truly loved. But you know, if Philip had turned out to be a little baby Phillipa, well, I know that his love wouldn’t have lasted.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Wow, yeah, what a stressful situation. I’ve never had anything similar happen.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Yeah, babe, do you have any idea?**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Okay okay, look, you’re right. You’re so right! You queens kicked some major Hamilton ass! And that’s what everyone wants to hear about. You know, like, girl power, woo! What I mean to say is that, I wouldn’t do any of that. Instead, I stood by him. It didn’t matter how many stupid things he did. I was there, by his side. And that’s… not because I was weak or scared. It’s because… I loved him. So, Alexander…**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**You've got a good heart**

**But I know it changes**

**A restless tide, untameable**

**You came my way**

**And I knew a storm could come too**

**You'd lift me high, or let me fall**

**But I took your hand**

**Promised I'd withstand**

**Any blaze you blew my way**

**'Cause something inside**

**It solidified**

**And I knew I'd always stay**

**You can build me up**

**You can tear me down**

**You can try but I'm unbreakable**

**You can do your best**

**But I'll stand the test**

**You'll find that I'm unshakeable**

**When the fire's burnt**

**When the wind has blown**

**When the water's dried**

**You'll still find stone**

**My heart of stone**

**You say we're perfect**

**A perfect family**

**You hold us close for the world to see**

**And when I say you're the only one I've ever loved**

**I mean those words truthfully**

**But I know, without my son**

**Your love could disappear**

**And no, it isn't fair**

**But I don't care**

**'Cause my love will still be here**

**You can build me up**

**You can tear me down**

**You can try but I'm unbreakable**

**You can do your best**

**But I'll stand the test**

**You'll find that I'm unshakeable**

**When the fire's burnt**

**When the wind has blown**

**When the water's dried**

**You'll still find stone**

**My heart of stone**

**Soon I'll have to go**

**I'll never see him grow**

**But I hope my son will know**

**He'll never be alone**

**'Cause like a river runs dry**

**And leaves its scars behind**

**I'll be by your side**

**'Cause my love is set in stone**

**Yeah**

**[Queens(Eliza Schuyler)]**

**You can build me up**

**You can tear me down**

**You can try but I'm unbreakable (I'm unbreakable)**

**You can do your best**

**But I'll stand the test (Ooh!)**

**You'll find that I'm unshakeable**

**The fire's burnt (The fire's burnt)**

**The wind has blown (The wind has blown)**

**The water's dried (The water's dried)**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**You'll still find stone**

**My heart of stone**

**[Queens (Eliza Schuyler)]**

**You can build me up**

**You can tear me down (Can't break me, can't break me)**

**You can try but I'm unbreakable (Stone)**

**You can do your best**

**But I'll stand the test (Can't break me, can't break me)**

**You'll find that I'm unshakeable (Stone)**

**The fire's burnt**

**The wind has blown (Can't break me)**

**The water's dried**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**You'll still find stone**

**My heart of stone**

  
  



	6. Haus of Holbein

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Because what hurts more than a broken heart?**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Severed head.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Now, seeing as Alexander was running out of women to marry in England, he had to look a little further afield. He had to adjust his location settings, if you will. To find his next queen, we’re heading to Germany. Where he enlisted the help of the legendary painter, John…**

**(whispers) Trumbull.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Welcome to the house**

**[All]**

**To the Haus of Trumbull**

**Ja, ooh ja, das ist gut**

**Ooh ja, ja**

**The Haus of Trumbull**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**John Trumbull goes around the world**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Painting all of the beautiful girls**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**From Spain**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**To France**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**And Germany**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**The king chooses one**

**[All]**

**But which one will it be?**

**[Angelica of Aragon & Jan Laurens]**

**You bring the corsets**

**[Eliza Schuyler & Marquise de Lafayette]**

**We'll bring the cinches**

**[Erin Burr]**

**No one wants a waist over nine inches**

**[All except Maria Lewis]**

**So what, the makeup contains lead poison?**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**At least your complexion will bring all the boys in**

**[All]**

**Ignore the fear and you'll be fine**

**We'll turn this vier into a nine**

**So just say 'ja' and don't say 'nein'**

**[Erin Burr]**

**'Cause now you're in the house**

**[All]**

**In the Haus of Trumbull!**

**Ja, ooh ja, das ist gut**

**Ooh ja, ja**

**The Haus of Trumbull**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**We must make sure the princesses look great**

**When their time comes for a Trumbull portrait**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**We know what all the best inventions are**

**To hold everything up**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Ja, it's wunderbar**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**For blonder hair, then you just add a magical ingredient**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**From your bladder**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Try these heels, so high it's naughty**

**[All]**

**But we cannot guarantee that you'll still walk at forty**

**Ignore the fear and you'll be fine**

**We'll turn this vier into a nine**

**So just say 'ja' and don't say 'nein'**

**[Erin Burr]**

**'Cause now you're in the house**

**[All]**

**In the Haus of Trumbull!**

**Ooh ja, das ist gut**

**Ooh ja, ja**

**The Haus of Trumbull**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**The time has come for you to select your bride, your highness!**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**May we present Catherine Livingston?**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Looking for mates, dates, and a British monarch with whom to secure the line of succession, winky-face.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Nein? Well, never mind, she already made a match with Matthew Ridley anyhow.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Okay, next!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Your highness, may we present Jan Andre?**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Just a German girl trying to live the English dream. Hashtag no Catholics, hashtag big dowry.**

**Nein?**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Okay! Who’s next?**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Lafayette! Fantastic! Wunderbar!**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Your highness, your highness, your highness! We are honoured to present to you Marquise de Lafayette!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**The most beautiful woman in all of the Holy Roman Empire!**

**[Erin Burr]**

**And let me assure you, Herr Trumbull has certainly done her justice.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Ah, very good! And I think we can say with some certainty, you will be happily married for many years to come.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**I can see it now! Alexander Hamilton, and his famous four wives**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Oh, no need to thank us, the pleasure has been ours—**

**[All]**

**In the Haus of Trumbull!**

**[Erin Burr]**

**The Haus of Trumbull.**

  
  



	7. Get Down

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Well, I guess you already know what happened next. How I came to England, hopeful, summoned after the king saw my portrait. And how I, with my meager looks the way they are, didn’t live up to his expectations. I mean, It’s the usual story, isn’t it? The savvy educated young princess deemed repulsive by the wheezing, wrinkled, ulcer-riddled man twenty-four years her senior! Rejection, rejection from a king! How can anyone overcome a fate as devastating as being forced to move into a resplendent palace in Richmond with more money that I could ever spend in a lifetime?! And not a single man around to tell me what to do with it. I mean seriously, just… tragic.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Sittin’ here all alone**

**On a throne**

**In a palace that I happen to own**

**Bring me some pheasant**

**Keep it on the bone**

**Fill my goblet up to the brim**

**Sippin’ on mead and I spill it on my dress**

**With the gold lace trim**

**Not very prim and proper**

**Can’t make me stop**

**I wanna go hunting, any takers?**

**I’m not fake ‘cause I’ve got acres and acres**

**Paid for with my own riches**

**Where my hounds at? Release the bitches**

**(Woof)**

**Everyday**

**Head back for a round of croquet, yeah**

**‘Cause I’m a player**

**And tomorrow, I’ll hit replay**

**You, you said that I tricked ya (tricked ya)**

**‘Cause I, I didn’t look like my profile picture**

**Too, too bad I don’t agree**

**So I’m gonna hang it up for everyone to see**

**And you can’t stop me ‘cause**

**I’m the queen of the castle**

**Get down, you dirty rascal**

**Get down**

**Get down**

**Get down you dirty rascal**

**Get down**

**Get down**

**‘Cause I’m the queen of the castle**

**When I get bored**

**I go to court**

**Pull up outside in my carriage**

**Don’t got no marriage**

**So I have a little flirt with the footman**

**As he takes my fur**

**As you were**

**Making my way to the dance floor**

**Some boys make an advance**

**I ignore them**

**‘Cause my jam comes on the lute**

**Lookin’ cute**

**Das ist gut**

**All eyes on me**

**No criticism**

**I look more rad than Lutheranism**

**Dance so hard that I’m causin’ a sensation**

**Okay ladies, let’s get in reformation**

**You, you said that I tricked ya**

**‘Cause I, I didn’t look like my profile picture**

**Too, too bad I don’t agree**

**So I’m gonna hang it up for everyone to see**

**And you can’t stop me ‘cause**

**I’m the queen of the castle**

**Get down, you dirty rascal**

**Get down**

**Get down (you dirty rascal)**

**Get down**

**Get down**

**‘Cause I’m the queen of the castle**

**Now I ain’t sayin’ I’m a gold digger**

**But check my prenup, and go figure**

**Got gold chains**

**Symbolic of my faith to the higher power**

**In the fast lane**

**My horses can trot up to twelve miles an hour**

**Let me explain**

**I’m a Wienerschnitzel, not an English flower**

**No one tells me I need a rich man**

**Doin’ my thing in my palace in Richmond**

**You, you said that I tricked ya (tricked ya)**

**‘Cause I (I), I didn’t look like my profile picture (no no)**

**Too, too bad I don’t agree (too bad I don’t agree)**

**So I’m gonna hang it up (hang it up, hang it up) for everyone to see**

**And you can’t stop, you can’t stop me ‘cause**

**I’m the queen of the castle**

**Get down, you dirty rascal**

**Get down (yeah, c’mon, ha!)**

**Get down (get down with me)**

**Get down you dirty rascal**

**Get down (it’s Marquise de Lafayette)**

**(Aha-ha-ha, get)**

**Get down (ow!)**

**‘Cause I’m the queen of the castle**

  
  



	8. All You Wanna Do

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**So yeah, it was really heartbreaking.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**That doesn’t sound difficult at all.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Oh yeah… I guess you’re right. I probably won’t win then. Oh well, back to the palace!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Well, there’s one horse out of the race.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Rude.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Let’s just take a moment to check back in with the competition. So, who’s still in the running. Will it be the devoted wife, the divorcee, or the one who actually had problems to deal with.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Problems? My son had to deal with the loss of his mother.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Oh, yeah. Kinda like how my body had to deal with the loss of its head**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Queens! Queens, come on now. Can’t you see what’s happening? Comparing your losses isn’t going to change the fact that I already won. I mean, I was literally shipped over from a foregin country, not knowing a word of English, to marry some random dude**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Oh my god, same!**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Oh, okay. Fine, fine. But then, when Alexander decided he had had enough of me, he didn’t even have the decency to say goodbye!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Same!**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Oh yeah, same! Nice neck, by the way.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Ok, alright. How about this. When my one and only child had a raging fever, Alex didn’t even let me—her mother!—see her.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Oh, boo-hoo! Baby Angie had the chickenpox and you weren’t there to hold her hand! You know, it’s funny because when I wanted to hold my newborn son, I died!**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Guys, I have the plague!**

**Lol, just kidding, my life’s amazing.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Okay, okay, you know what? I think it’s time for the next queen, Maria Lewis.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Sorry, who?**

**[Angelica of Aragon**

**Oh yeah, you remember, the least relevant Lewis.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Oh yeah, haha, I still don’t care.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**(Sarcastically) Oh, ha ha, funny.**

**[Angelica of Araon]**

**Yeah, speaking of funny, good luck trying to compete with us, honey.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Yeah… yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna need all the luck I can get, your lives sounded terrible, and your songs… really helped to convey that.**

**I mean, Angelica, almost moving into a nunnery and then not? That almost could’ve been really hard for you.**

**And Jan! Jan, getting your head chopped off? Surely, that means you’ll win the competition— oh, wait, wait, hang on a sec. Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded… oh, wait, nevermind.**

**And Eliza, dying of natural causes? When will justice be served?! And surviving…**

**Seriously, seriously, Laf, all jokes aside, being rejected for your looks legit sounds really rough. I wouldn’t know anything about that. I mean look at me, I’m really fit. So yeah. I can’t even begin to think of how I’m going to compete with you all. Oh wait, like this...**

**[Ensemble]**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, baby**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**I think we can all agree**

**I'm the ten amongst these threes**

**[Ensemble]**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, baby**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**And ever since I was a child**

**I'd make the boys go wild**

**[Ensemble]**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, baby**

**[Maria Lewis, spoken]**

**Take my first music teacher**

**Henry Manox**

**I was young, it's true**

**But even then I knew**

**(sung)**

**The only thing you wanna do is... mwah**

**Broad, dark, sexy Manox**

**Taught me all about dynamics**

**He was twenty-three**

**And I was thirteen**

**Going on thirty**

**We spent hours strumming the lute**

**Striking the chords and blowing the flute**

**He plucked my strings all the way to G**

**Went from major to minor**

**C to D**

**Tell me what you need**

**What you want, you don't need to plead**

**'Cause I feel the chemistry**

**Like I get you and you get me**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**And maybe this is it**

**He just cares so much**

**It feels legit**

**We have a connection**

**I think this guy is different**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**'Cause**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, babe**

**Is touch me, love me**

**Can't get enough, see**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, babe**

**Is please me, squeeze me**

**Birds and the bees me**

**Run your fingers through my hair**

**Tell me, I'm the fairest of the fair**

**Playtime's over**

**The only thing you wanna do is... mwah**

**(spoken)**

**So after him, there was another guy, James Reynolds. And at the time, I was living at my step-grandma’s house; he was working for her. Working so so hard. So he asked me to be his little piece of ass...istant.**

**(sung)**

**Serious, stern and slow**

**Gets what he wants and he won't take no**

**Passion in all that he touches**

**The sexy secretary to the dowager duchess**

**Helped him in his office, had a duty to fulfill**

**He even let me use his favourite quill**

**Spilled ink all over the parchment**

**My wrist was so tired**

**Still, I came back the next day**

**As he required**

**You say, I'm all you need**

**All you want, you don't need to plead**

**'Cause I feel the chemistry**

**Like I get you and you get me and**

**I know, this is it**

**He just cares so much**

**This one's legit**

**We have a real connection**

**I'm sure this time is different**

**'Cause**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, babe**

**Is touch me, love me**

**Can't get enough, see**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, babe**

**Is please me, squeeze me**

**Birds and the bees me**

**You can't wait a second more**

**To get, my corset on the floor**

**Playtime's over**

**The only thing you wanna do is... mwah**

**(spoken)**

**So yeah, that didn’t work out. Turns out, some guys just employ women to get them into their private chambers. Different time back then. So I decided to have a break from boys, just focus on my career and my dad got me this amazing workplace in court, and you’ll never guess who I met!**

**(sung)**

**Tall, large, Alexander**

**Supreme head of the Church of England**

**Globally revered**

**Although you wouldn't know it from the look of that beard**

**Made me a lady in waiting, hurled**

**Me and my family up in the world**

**Gave me duties in court and he swears it's true**

**That without me he doesn't know what he'd do**

**You say, I'm all you need**

**All you want, we both agree**

**This is the place for me**

**I'm finally where I'm meant to be**

**Then he starts saying all this stuff**

**He cares so much, he calls me "love"**

**He says we have this connection**

**I guess it's not so different**

**'Cause**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, babe**

**Is touch me, love me**

**Can't get enough, see**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, babe**

**Is seize me, squeeze me**

**Birds and the bees me**

**There's no time for when or how**

**'Cause you've just got to have me now**

**Playtime's over**

**The only thing you wanna do is... mwah**

**(spoken)**

**So we got married. Woo**

**(sung)**

**With Alex, it isn't easy**

**His temper's short and his mates are sleazy**

**Except for this one courtier**

**He's a really nice guy, just**

**So sincere**

**The royal life isn't what I planned**

**But Thomas is there to lend a helping hand**

**So sweet, makes sure that I'm okay**

**And we hang out loads when the King's away**

**This guy, finally**

**Is what I want, the friend I need**

**Just mates, no chemistry**

**I get him and he gets me**

**And there's nothing more to it**

**He just cares so much, he's devoted**

**He says we have a connection...**

**I thought this time was different**

**Why did I think he'd be different**

**But it's never, ever different**

**'Cause**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, babe**

**Is touch me, when will**

**Enough be enough, see?**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, babe**

**Is squeeze me, don't care**

**If you don't please me**

**Bite my lip and pull my hair**

**As you tell me I'm the fairest of the fair**

**[Ensemble]**

**Playtime's over**

**Playtime's over**

**[All]**

**Playtime's over**

**[Ensemble]**

**The only thing**

**The only thing**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**The only thing you wanna do is... mwah**

  
  



	9. I Don't Need Your Love

**[Maria Lewis]**

**And then I was beheaded! I know, I know So seeing as I've now won the competition, all I wanna do is take the opportunity to thank all the powerful men who got me to where I am today, couldn’t have done it without ya.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Yeah, you had it bad, but that was not the most heart-wrenching song we’ve heard this evening.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Um, excuse me, were you not listening to my song? There were four choruses, that’s how much sh… I had to deal with.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Sorry, so true. When you died, your son didn’t have to grow up without a mother. Oh wait, that was me, and no one cared when you died!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Eliza, chill out! Its not her fault no one remembers her bland and uneventful life. Babes, honestly, I don’t want it to be weird between us just because my beheading had the result of actual trauma and humiliation.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Oh pipe down, Jan! You wanna talk about humiliation? Well when I was queen, Alex had not one, not two, but three historically confirmed mistresses.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Oh get over it. When I was queen, I had not one, not two, but three miscarriages!**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Oh, well you know what, Jan Laur-loser? I had five miscarriages!**

**[Maquise de Lafayette]**

**Okay, okay alright, let’s move along, shall we queens? Erin, it's your turn. Hit it!**

**[Erin Burr]**

**You know what, I’m good. Yeah, I just… I can’t keep doing this.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Ahahahahha...what.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Sorry, its just-oh woah, hey, could we turn off the uh...thank you. Look, I don’t know. It's just like, we’re here, in front of all these people, being like ‘ohh, let's see what gets the biggest cheer, trauma or abuse, wooo’ Should we really be doing this?**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**I mean, we’ve literally been doing that for the last hour, so**

**[Erin Burr]**

**I know, but. Miscarriages? Really, isn’t that a bit...**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Ooh, someone has a conscience all of a sudden.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Ooh, “I’m Erin Burr, I draw lines in arbitrary places.” Blah-blah!**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**You know what, queens, she just knows she’s not gonna win.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**So she’s trying to make us look stupid instead of playing by the rules like everyone else**

**[Erin Burr]**

**No! That’s so not- okay, okay, okay, you know what, queen?s If it's a sob story you want, I will give you one.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Are you sure, Erin. Are you sure you don’t wanna just stick to backing vocals? You know, where you belong?**

**[Erin Burr]**

**No, no, you’re right, I should sing a song. It's only fair. Go on queens, take a seat, go on. Hey, everyone, is it okay if we try something a little bit different tonight? Hey, hi, could I get that beautiful light back? Thank you. And Martha, could you give me a cute little b flat, major seventh? Perfect. So, uh, just for a little bit of context, I’ve actually had my fair share of marriages. Something Alexander and I have in common, I guess. Though, unlike him, I did manage to get through them without decapitating anyone. I know, gold star for Erin Burr. But, the thing is, they had this really annoying habit of passing away and so while I was dealing with, you know, incapacitating grief, I also had to keep finding new husbands to avoid being ostracised. Yeah, Hamiltonian womanhood, would recommend. And then one day, finally, I meet this guy, Theodore. He seemed like he might stick around for a while, and you guessed it, he turned out to be the love of my life. I know, right? We had this plan to get married, actually. But that’s when Alexander turned up, single and ready to make an unsuspecting woman his wife. Just my luck. So that was that. I had to write a letter to Theodore, ending things. Dear Theo...**

**[Erin Burr]**

**You know I love you, boy**

**In every single way**

**Though I love you, boy**

**I'll miss you every day**

**Oh I love you, boy**

**I wish that I could stay with you**

**And keep the life I made with you**

**And even though this feels so right**

**I'm holding back the tears tonight**

**It's true I'll never be over you**

**'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you**

**And now the hope is gone**

**There's nothing left for me to do**

**You know it isn't true**

**But I must say to you**

**That I don't need your love, no, no**

**I don't need your love, no, no**

**It'll never be better than it was, no, no**

**But I don't need your love, no, no**

**I've got no choice**

**With the King I stay alive**

**Never had a choice**

**Been a wife twice before, just to survive**

**I don't have a choice**

**If Alex says "It's you", then it's you**

**No matter how I feel**

**It's what I have to do**

**But if, somehow, I had that choice**

**No holding back, I'd raise my voice**

**I'd say, "Alex, yeah it's true**

**I'll never belong to you**

**'Cause I am not your toy, to enjoy till there's something new**

**As if I'm gonna give up my boy, my work, my dreams**

**To care for you. Ha!**

**Darling, get a clue**

**There's nothing you can do**

**I don't need your love, no, no**

**No, I don't need your love, no, no**

**There's nothing left to discuss, no, no**

**But I don't need your love, no, no"**

**[Spoken]**

**But the thing is, I can't say that**

**Not to the king**

**So this is goodbye**

**All my love**

**Erin**

**[Sung]**

**So I sent that letter to my love**

**Got married to the king**

**Became the one who survived**

**I've told you about my life**

**The final wife**

**But why should that story**

**Be the one I have to sing about**

**Just to win? I'm out**

**That's not my story**

**There's so much more**

**Remember that I was a writer**

**I wrote books and psalms and meditations**

**Fought for female education**

**So all my women can independently**

**Study scripture**

**I even got a woman to paint my picture**

**Why can't I tell that story?**

**'Cause in history**

**I'm fixed as one of six**

**And without him**

**I disappear**

**We all disappear**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Wait, I don’t get it.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Okay, look. Why does anyone know who we are?**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**My sixth finger.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Put it away, babe!**

**[Erin Burr]**

**No. Okay, let me put it in a different way. Who was Alexander VII’s wife?**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**I don’t know.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Anyone? No? And Alexander VI’s wife? And Alexander V’s wife?**

**[All, sans Lewis]**

**We don’t know.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Catherine de Valois— I mean, I don’t know.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**The point is, the only reason any of these people have come here tonight is because once upon a time—**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**The same guy fell in love with us.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Right.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Yeah… but isn’t there a bigger problem here?**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**The dissolution of the monasteries?**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**No. I’m talking about us ‘cause as soon as we get together as a group—**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Everyone notices Eliza can’t dance!**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**That’s exactly what I’m talking about! We compare ourselves, and when we’re the six wives of Alexander Hamilton, we each become just that.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**One of his wives.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**One of...**

**[All, sung]**

**Six.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Oh, I get it. Since the only thing we have in common is our husband, grouping us is an inherently comparative act and as such unnecessarily elevates a historical approach ingrained in patriarchal structure. Yeah... I read.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**So basically, we’re stuck.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**What a waste of time.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Well I guess there’s not much we can do about it now.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**You know what?**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**What?**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**I wish that like, before we spent the whole show competing we'd realize it’d turn out to be such a mess.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Yeah, cuz if we had realized, then we could have done something else, like, I don’t know, a fake competition to show everyone how messed up comparing us is.**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Then we could have found some cool way to, I don’t know, reclaim our story, or like all become the leading ladies**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Aww, we could have done that as a song!**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**That would have tied everything together so neatly.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**If only we’d have thought of it before.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**This is the…**

**[All]**

**Remix!**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**So we had no choice**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**But now it's us alone**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**So we've got no choice**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**No, we've got no choice**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**We're taking back the microphone**

**[Erin Burr]**

**I'm gonna raise my voice**

**[All]**

**They always said:**

**"We need your love"**

**But it's time for us to rise above**

**It's not what went down in history**

**But tonight I'm singing this for me**

**Alex, yeah, I'm through**

**Too many times it's been told**

**And I have had enough (I've had enough)**

**Love stories to get old**

**And you might think it's tough**

**But I've got to let your love run cold**

**We're taking back control (We're taking back control)**

**You need to know**

**I don't need your love, no, no**

**No, I don't need your love, no, no**

**Can't let it get the better of us, no, no**

**I don't need your love, no, no**

**I don't need your love, no, no**

**No, I don't need your love, no, no**

**I don't need your love, no, no**

**I don't need your love**

**We don't need your love**


	10. Six

  
  
  


**[Erin Burr]**

**We have a voice. We said, we said, we have a**

**[Erin Burr, sung]**

**Voice!**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**And you know what? We might just be remembered for being married to the same man,**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**But why does anyone give a sh… who he is?**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**His continental campaign?**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**His religious reforms?**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Well, actually—**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**It’s not the time, Angelica**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Or do you think it might be, I don’t know, cuz of his**

**[All, sung]**

**Six wives!**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**So, before you go, what do you think? Are you ready for a royal happily ever after? Well, we don’t have one.**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**We wish we could tell you that our lives had happy endings.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**But in reality, they didn’t.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**And there’s nothing we can do to change that.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Ever.**

**Oh wait… This is our show, and we can literally have whatever ending we want.**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**So, seeing as there's five minutes left in the show.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**We’ve decided to give you our own—**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Um, slightly edited version.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**—Of what actually went down all those years ago.**

**[Erin Burr]**

**‘Cause after all...**

**We’re one of a kind,**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**No category.**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Too many years**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Lost in history.**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**We’re free**

**[Angelica Schuyler]**

**To take our crowning glory.**

**[All]**

**For five more minutes,**

**We’re SiX!**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Alright queens, shall we do a little histo-rewrite?**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Yeah, Angelica, wanna go first?**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**I guess I could, for a change. Let’s go!**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**He got down on one knee**

**But I said "No way!"**

**Packed my bags**

**And moved into a**

**Nu-nu-nunnery!**

**Joined the gospel choir**

**Our riffs were on fire**

**At the top of the charts**

**Is where I'm gonna stay**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Alex sent me a poem**

**All about my green sleeves**

**I changed a couple words**

**Put it on a sick beat**

**The song blew their minds**

**Next minute I was signed**

**And now I'm writing lyrics**

**For Shake's EP**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Since my first son**

**Our family's grown**

**We made a band**

**And got quite well known**

**You could perhaps call us**

**The Hamil Von Trapps**

**I'm just kidding**

**We're called the**

**Royalling Stones**

**[All]**

**We're one of a kind**

**No category**

**Too many years**

**Lost in history**

**We're free to take**

**Our crowning glory**

**For five more minutes**

**We're SIX!**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**What a shame**

**Yeah, my face**

**It cost me the crown**

**So I moved to the**

**HAUS OF TRUMBULL**

**In my hometown**

**His mates were super arty**

**But I showed them how to party**

**Now on my tour of Prussia**

**Everybody "Gets down"**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Music man tried it on**

**And I was like "Bye!"**

**So I thought "Who needs him?**

**I can give it a try"**

**I learned everything**

**Now all I do is sing**

**And I'll do that until I die**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Heard all about these rockin' chicks**

**Loved every song**

**And each remix**

**So I went out and found them**

**And we laid down an album**

**Now "I don't need your love"**

**All I need is SIX!**

**[All]**

**We're one of a kind**

**No category**

**Too many years**

**Lost in his story**

**We're free to take**

**Our crowning glory**

**For five more minutes**

**We're SIX!**

**Woah, woah**

**We're SIX!**

**Woooah, we're SIX**

**Woah, woah**

**For five more minutes**

**It's the end of the show**

**Of the historemix**

**We switched up the flow**

**And we changed the prefix**

**Everybody knows**

**That we used to be six wives**

**But we want to say**

**Before we drop the curtain**

**Nothing is for sure**

**Nothing is for certain**

**All that we know is that**

**We used to be six wives**

**But now we're one of a kind**

**No category**

**Too many years**

**Lost in history**

**We're free to take**

**Our crowning glory**

**For five more minutes...**

**We're one of a kind**

**No category**

**Too many years**

**Lost in history**

**We're free to take**

**Our crowning glory**

**For five more minutes**

**We're SIX!**

**Woah, woah**

**We're SIX!**

**Woooah, we're SIX**

**Woah, woah**

**For five, four, three**

**Two, one more minute**

**We're SIX!**


	11. Megasix

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Do you want one more song?**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Clap your hands!**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Get your phones out**

**You're gonna wanna film this!**

**[Erin Burr]**

**But most importantly**

**Get ready to dance!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Make some noise for Francis!**

***(electric guitar solo)***

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Yo, big up to Adrienne!**

***(bass solo)***

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Show some love for Martha!**

***(organ solo)***

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**And Señorita Maria!**

***(drum solo)***

**[All, spoken]**

**Are you ready?**

**Here we go!**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**You must think that I’m crazy**

**You wanna replace me, baby, there’s**

**[All]**

**No no no no no no no way**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**If you thought you could leave me**

**You must think I'm naive, please believe me there's**

**[All]**

**No no no no no no no no no no**

**Not sorry**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Sorry, not sorry 'bout what I said**

**I'm just trying to have some fun**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**No no no way**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Don't worry, don't worry**

**Don't lose your head**

**I didn't mean to hurt anyone**

**[Eliza Schuyler, (Jan Laurens)]**

**You can- (LOL)**

**You can- (Say 'Oh, well!')**

**You can try but I'm unbreakable (Or go to hell!)**

**[All, (Maria Lewis)]**

**(All you wanna) do your best**

**But I'll stand the test**

**You'll find that I've**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Got a heart of**

**[All]**

**Sto-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-one**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**All alone**

**On a throne**

**In a palace that I happen to own**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**The only thing you wanna do**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Too bad I don't agree 'cause**

**I'm the queen of the castle**

**Get down, you dirty rascal**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, baby's**

**Sing along to your favourite queen's song**

**All you wanna do**

**All you wanna do, baby**

**Love me, love me**

**L-l-l-l**

**[Maria Lewis, Erin Burr]**

**L-l-l-l**

**Love**

**[Erin Burr]**

**No, no**

**I don't need your love, no, no**

**It's time to rise above**

**[All]**

**We don't need your love**

**'Cause we're so much more than**

**[Angelica of Aragon]**

**Divorced!**

**[Jan Laurens]**

**Beheaded!**

**[Eliza Schuyler]**

**Died!**

**[Marquise de Lafayette]**

**Divorced!**

**[Maria Lewis]**

**Beheaded!**

**[Erin Burr]**

**Survived!**

**[All]**

**We're**

**SIX!**


End file.
